What does your book of binges tell about you?
My most recurrent binges
There are two type of binges I remember more than any other binges I used to have.
The ‘binges on the go’
Those binges regularly happened during my commuting to and from work in my previous office job.
A big supermarket perfectly located halfway of the walk between office and the train station.
A whole load of sweets and pastries eaten while walking or waiting for the train. A few more bites during the commute on the train.
A full meal waiting for me at home while my stomach was already full to the limit.
An intense sensation of stress and tiredness and mixed feelings of failure and incompetence in work were mainly triggering those binges. Almost daily.
The taste of the food: not even noticed that.
The ‘home alone binges’
Those that happened some nights, especially at weekends, when I didn’t go out like everyone else because I just wanted to hide. Because of the fear of what people would think about my body, my weight, my everything.
Ordering deliveroo from different places in the same night. Shovelling it down my throat with that intense feeling of anger, of helplessness for my situation. I couldn’t see a way out of it. I could only keep eating my pain alive.
I didn’t love myself, not even one bit.
I still have a vivid memory of the discomfort in my throat from the sugar, the pain in the stomach, the pain in my heart. The fatigue and the desire to rest and sleep immediately to forget what just happened.
Your binge voices your needs
There is nothing sexy about binges.
But it’s as if each binge writes a page of a book that’s important to read. It tells a lot about yourself and the needs that have been unmet for such a long time. That voice screaming inside that needs to be heard and understood.
The cover of that book is a black and white picture of yourself. Only you can add colour to it by starting to listen to yourself more carefully, with intention and kindness. And start feeding your needs with something different than food. Because I am living proof that that’s possible.
Have a great mindful day!
PS: Do you know that by subscribing to the Newsletter you receive my free printable Emotional Eating Diary? You don’t want to miss it!