Let’s address this:
You want to lose weight and you are sick of dieting at the same time.
I believe it’s directly linked with the desire to get into a smaller shape and the value attached to ‘being thin’.
I know from personal experience, and from most of my clients’ journey, that saying goodbye to the fantasy of achieving a thin body can be very liberating. As much as recognising that healthy and unhealthy come in every shape and size.
Not having those obsessive thoughts about wanting to be different all the time is quite a game-changer.
And how much more interesting life can be when we enjoy the moment instead of obsessing about what other people might think when they see us.
However, I also recognise this process is not easy, it takes time, sometimes a lot of time, trials and errors.
Even if you’ve come to realise that your weight aspiration is not realistic, that after the diet you keep coming back to the same starting point, you might still hold the desire to lose weight and be in a smaller body.
There’s the fear of gaining weight, as you gradually let go of diets and start tuning into what your body tells you, giving yourself permission to eat the foods that you now consider ‘treats’ or ‘play foods’.
I don’t blame you for that. Quite the opposite.
It’s perfectly normal to feel this way.
Especially if, like me, you’ve experienced weight stigma or body shaming at some stage in your life.
What I mean by this is things like:
- Being teased about your shape and size.
- Receiving negative comments about your weight from anyone, including healthcare professionals.
- Feeling pressured to lose weight to fit in.
- Being avoided, excluded, or ignored because of your weight.
- Not being able to find clothes in your size at a store.
MOURNING THE FANTASY OF A THIN BODY
An important part of the journey to heal your relationship with food and body can pass through mourning the ‘fantasy of a thin body’ you’ve chased and the temporary illusion of achieving it by dieting.
Also, it’s coming to terms with the fact that dieting and/or engaging in activities with the purpose of losing weight, is actually the n.1 predictor of weight-gain, and it can backfire, as it’s carefully explained in this post.
For many women, it’s easier if they get some support to grieve for the loss of a smaller body and all the privileges and value that our society attaches to it.
I encourage the women I work with to carefully consider the price they have paid (energy, time, money and emotional investment) chasing one diet after the other to seek weight-loss. And I support them, so they keep the focus on the benefits of approaching their health at 360 degrees instead of fixating with weight-loss.
You can focus on your health and wellbeing and introduce some health promoting behaviours in your life with no need to look at the weight and the scale.
GRAB SOME PEN & PAPER (OR YOUR JOURNAL!)
I encourage you to take pen and paper and answer the questions below:
- How can I honour the body I’m in today, even if I might not like it right now?
- How can I show it some kindness?
- What activities that make me feel good I could do? When might I do it? Who do I want to do them with (if anyone)?
Try and think about something that has nothing to do with calories, weight, portions, food or exercise rules. It has to be fun, pleasurable, interesting for you, and only you!
When I started my own journey out of binge eating, I was initially shocked at the idea of being focusing on something that wasn’t related to food and weight-loss.
In hindsight, I understand the importance of focusing on doing things just for myself, like making some time to practice mindfulness, to write down about my days, or hang out with people I really wanted to spend time with.
I guess my ongoing journey has made me realise that when you let go of the fantasy to reach a certain shape and size, you open the door to being at peace not only with your body, but with many other aspects of your life.
What’s your experience? What’s in your mind after reading this?
Let me know in the comments below.
PS: Want to come and share about this and other issues with like-minded women and do a bit of journaling together?
Why don’t you join the WOMEN COMMUNITY CALLS? It’s a free group support for women who want to stop judging their body, and finally learn to enjoy the food they eat.
Click here if you’d like to find out more, or sign up using the box below 👇